Tatterdemalion

Summer!

2011-06-24T23:23:00.003+08:00

It's all very exciting now, with graduation only 6 days away, and with social events piling up to the height of a termite nest. Not to mention a spontaneous trip to Spain with my lovely fei po!

To top that, a massive Asian trip, in which I, the self-proclaimed tour guide/organiser am drowning in the rough sea of planning. First up, Borneo, which will involve Mt Kinabalu (obviously), Rungus Longhouses and a trip to the tip of Borneo, and perhaps just some beach activities at the TAR park. Next on the list, Krabi - yes we love our beaches, and thai food + Bangkok, needless to say, a must-visit city. Whilst I recuperate from all that for several days in KL, my two friends will head off to Siem Reap to witness the spectacular Angkor Wat, before the three of us meet again for China.

Planning China = suicide. Almost impossible to plan, but I'm coping. Let's hope it turns out alright! Needless to say, the all-knowing future housemate of mine and her far-too-brilliant fiance have been very helpful in my attempt to sort out our trip to China.

Part of me feels guilty for splurging and also for slacking my summer away-but, I constantly remind myself that it is, afterall, my last long summer. I'd be better off enjoying it to the fullest.

Purpose

2011-06-24T06:18:00.007+08:00

Once again, the typical scenario of this blog being revived over summer term. never really do have enough to say since nothing overly interesting deserves to be mentioned.

With a couple of my friends graduating, our conversations are frequently focused on the major take-home values from our 3 years in Cam, and to be honest, they haven't been overly optimistic. it hurts and annoys me to listen to those statements, especially when it highlights how most of them have, in my opinion, completely missed the point of university life. the sheer competitiveness that slowly reveals itself as they share their thoughts on cam reinforces the necessity to analyse and be wary of friends you make. at the same time, i may be unfair to impose my own principles on them, and expecting them to share similar ideals.

Having gone through an asian education system, some friends remain delusional of their main aims in life, still placing tremendous emphasis on academic brilliance with minimal development of emotional intelligence. A friend of mine claims most of her compatriots have become cynical over the three years, but I opine that as a figment of her imagination ie believing is seeing. To me, that judgment is derived from contemplation of one self, and the awareness that she has in fact succumbed to the viciousness of competition.

I won't deny that Cam shatters one's confidence, acknowledging the fact that most students here probably were very established and successful students in the past, but would now have to settle for brutal mediocrity. It is only natural for them to feel so. I then asked, how much more confident would she be if she were to obtain a first class honours, and she replied with great certainty that it was the only thing she ever hoped for in Cam, thus would give her an overwhelming sense of self-satisfaction. Fair enough, you exaltation. I, on the other hand, feel that these successes are too impermanent to cling on to and rejoice, and that even though each success deserves a pat on the back, serious damage can be done when one basks too long in their glory.

I raise these points for several reasons. One, as a reminder to feel grateful for the fact that I lived through the competition and have become stronger, not exactly in a 'survival of the fittest' manner, but rather as an individual that is mentally and emotionally more ready to face what would be a rougher sea when I graduate. Two, as a motivation to pursue my interests and to gain skills outside of the medical field for it draws in a huge amount of satisfaction when I apply this in my career. More importantly, it pleases me to be ensured that I have achieved (so far) my main target in university, and that is to enjoy what I do, and do what I truly enjoy. It reminds me of a very encouraging (and flattering!) comment my teacher once made about me. She claimed to be surprised that I remained optimistic and enthusiastic in a suppressive institution and attributed that to my ability to value the positive and learn from the negative, to my ability to find the silver lining of every cloud.

I intend to keep things this way. But with an added twist. I am keen to revive that building competitive spirit in me and to see the impact I can make by perfecting the necessary skills as a doctor. The past three years have involved a conscious effort to achieve moderation. I want this to change, on several different levels, that I can easily summarise into passion, direction and perseverance.

I have lived my life the way I intended to the past three years, and I hope to accomplish my resolution for the remaining three years.

Tibet [break] Nepal

2010-08-09T23:32:00.002+08:00

After about 3.5 weeks of lovely hospital attachments, I rediscovered my love for medicine. or at least I finally saw the whole point of thorough sciences. I promise a detailed post on my attachment as soon as time permits!

I also left for Chengdu and Tibet not long after the attachment came to an end. I truly appreciated the company of a friend of mine from Cambridge and her fiancee from Princeton, especially after all the local delights they introduced me to!

Tibet met my expectations of being truly mystique, with clouds so close they seemed reachable, mountain ranges of marvellous shades laid out like thick layers of curtains, mirror-like, reflective lakes not to mention stunning architecture with the distinct black window frames, red/green ornaments and a tinge of Chinese yellow to everything else.

The food, disappointingly left my entire family travellers' diarrhoea, myself still feeling unwell as I blog despite having returned for about 4 days now. The melting yak butter, fuelling the candlelit temples left me feeling nauseous, and their oil-drenched fried rice/noodles didn't do any good to my GI tract.

As a result, I had to postpone my 6-week stint at Nepal and will only leave for that region of the world this Sunday. Am hoping to feel better by then! In the meantime, I've been keeping myself occupied with fun times at MMHA, whilst recuperating! Met an interesting bloke doing psychology at UTAR and almost met with a car accident, with him in it! I'd be pleasantly surprised if he requested for a lift tomorrow after the nightmare earlier this evening.

2010-07-05T17:22:00.006+08:00

Day 1 - A&E

Slightly erratic at the start, but things got better later in the day. With almost zero-experience, the tiniest case admitted sparked my interest and caught me feeling inquisitive. The first case witnessed involved (today's theme: poisoning):

Organophosphate poisoning-malathion, I believe
Ah, chemical warfare. I think the doctor mentioned this was a suicidal attempt (quite obviously), and being cautious of the possibility of chemical aging (I presume the patient had delayed admission), atropine alone solved the problem. He did mention the clear parasympathetic symptoms, bronchorrhea (hypersecretion with excessive ACh), and an exception, sweating (excessive neurotransmitters).

Gastric lavage followed by administration of activated charcoal via nasogastric tube. The following case observed was similar, anti-psychotic poisoning-believed to be lamotrigine.

Major take-home lesson: Methods of dealing with poisoning and observing the common symptoms of these two types belonging to the umbrella theme.

The Bhutanese bloke doing his masters in EM also elaborated on an ECG showing lateral ischaemia, and mentioned other cardiac markers such as CKMB and troponin levels as possible diagnostic tests. He introduced aortic dissection to me and explained the possible appearance of an X-ray scan showing widening of the mediastinum and hints of pleural effusion as well as the plausible obliteration of the aortic knob.

That's hardly anything, but I'm certain there's more to come and that I'll learn more. Hardly did much besides cleaning up some emesis remains and giving the patient a change of clothes.

2010-07-03T15:14:00.004+08:00

Voila, so I finally had my law interview yesterday night.

And what can I derive from the 30-ish minute conversation? I can't do law. I should just stick to medicine. =)

For keepsake, this is the brief case we discussed over the interview:

"Z, who is 16, conceives a child as the result of aone-night-stand. She keeps the pregnancy a secret. She wants to give the child up for adoption immediately after birth and therefore contacts the local authority. Neither the father nor her parents know anything about the pregnancy.

Article 8(1) of the European Convention on Human Rights states the following:

Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence.

In the light of this provision, should the local authority have a duty to identify and inform the father and/or the Z's parents?"

Please read the question carefully. (end)

The interviewer rang 12 minutes after I received the email, and the torment began

Nevertheless, it was great fun. Haven't used my brain that much in so long.

Written test/assessment up soon (apparently it's just an informal exercise). I don't expect it to be any easier than what I faced yesterday.

On a positive note, at least it isn't a scientific essay! I've written an incalculable amount of science-y essays since I embarked on the medical course. At last, something different.

2010-07-01T00:36:00.004+08:00

I'm determined to only spend 10 minutes on this.

I've revamped my music playlist and it is this list that has been supporting me through the uphill battle of a certain examination we call Tripos, which makes me wonder really about the effects music exerts in our lives, what with the widely acclaimed Mozart effect, and something I stumbled upon more recently, the Beethoven effect.

To be honest, I don't really understand how music taps into our health; a possibility of establishing synchrony with brainwaves subsequently altering our attention span and ability to concentrate, somewhat similar to how the thalamus and ascending arousal neurotransmitter systems regulate our sleep-wake cycle. If that is true, this is bound to have physiological effects, perhaps observed changes in our breathing and heart rates considering their connections with the autonomic nervous system. But this really is too fuzzy for my liking. Nevertheless, there isn't much to lose by believing in this, bearing in mind the potential placebo effect like how complementary medicine most certainly produces its results.

Having said that, it is also heavily dependent on your choice of music, which then again relies on the different social groups, early exposure and upbringing. Some people find relief in suicidal music, and some in techno. Unfortunately, I fail to understand where they are coming from as I never shared their interest in music of those genres.

And then we come to the popular belief (with fairly solid scientific ground) that Mozart makes your children smart or more intelligent (really, semantics). Putting aside the flaws in assessing one's IQ, and assuming we all subscribe to the Stanford-Binet IQ test, surely researchers have to consider the other existing factors contributing to the results they are obtaining.

Temporarily enhanced spatial-temporal reasoning. hmmm. Perhaps certain pre-existing neurons fire in response to specific frequencies played, and perhaps this corresponds to the region responsible for this momentary spike. Mozart's pieces , if I remember correctly often revolve around a certain frequency range, I wonder if this would explain why a wide range of his pieces, and only his compositions would have triggered the observed response.

I suspect these enhancements may be an artifact-maybe generated from enjoyment arousal. Somewhat like a spillover effect of enjoying your environment? I shouldn't even attempt to challenge this really. Oliver Sacks discovered the association between music and Parkinson's, quoting several examples and citing that even mental rehearsal of a particular piece by patients who are music-enthusiasts creates a temporary effect of being 'released' from Parkinson's. I find that rather interesting, and possibly exploitable. Enhanced performance in the presence of something you enjoy. Projections to the substantia nigra from regions such as the amygdala and orbitofrontal cortex (?, I really am not too sure about this), and efferent connections to the thalamus. And if that's true, what will happen if we play music patients do not appreciate, or children do not enjoy? Will similar results still surface?

An interesting study on epileptics I once read mentioned that besides Mozart's K.448 and Piano Concerto No. 23, only Yanni's Standing in Motion had a similar effect of reduced seizures. Rhythm, tempo and predicatability are possibly the shared factors. I wonder at times if these effects will be produced if Asian contemporary music was used. One has to admit that these are not sufficiently researched upon, and we may be far from realising its potential.

Mozart has certainly received a lot of attention. Beethoven is however easily forgotten, probably because of his temperamental, dramatic style. I am rather ignorant with regards to this effect, but I'm certain it has to do with vibroacoustics, and this will probably come in handy in disabled individuals ie channeling music therapy even to those who are deaf. The proposition that the subtle vibration exuded from Beethoven's composition (especially the celebrated 5th Symphony) can be delivered into and throughout the body, affecting the cells (TOO vague, I know). Disruption of unhealthy cells through resonance? No clue.

Alright, so I spent 20 minutes, and produced trash. That's what I do. It's time to hit the sack and pray I wake up in time to fetch my sawo from the airport. Meanwhile, enjoy the music and my apologies for the K-pop dominance in this updated series.

2010-06-30T01:44:00.003+08:00

Really, how important are good values in life when what we have witnessed thus far suggest the dominance of the other extreme? We know for a fact that our education system isn't doing enough, and having experienced (for a measly period of 2 years) a foreign system, I'm not sure if they can claim the prize. My humble opinion is that every education system, regardless of how holistic they label themselves to be, is lacking in something crucial. I'm not sure what, and I doubt many do. After all, none of us were brought up with a truly 'complete' education system.

Oh yes, how did our education system even come into the picture? oh. yes. values. priorities. i think we place unnecessary emphasis on paper qualifications. period.

just sheer superficiality.

2010-06-29T18:19:00.006+08:00

i am bored. yes. i can't sit at home and do nothing (which encompasses reading 'introduction to law' and summarising my pfp interview) even for a day. i am officially becoming a couch potato.

i despise the fact that i refresh hermes every 5 seconds, desperately awaiting replies, in which my future depends on (well, it isn't as bad as it sounds-i just need to know if i am allowed to do law in my third year-hence, my future, but only for a year)

but when one spends her time surfing the internet by reading zunar's comics (imustcommendhimonhiscreativity), trying to enhance her intellectual reservoir or at least feel like she's attempting to, discovering the link between sociology, anthropology and law, and questioning why she is doing medicine of all subjects in the world, you should take pity on her.

i think i have become more superficial in my learning. the whole process of rote-rehearse-regurgitate definitely isn't aiding my thought process and this has its ramifications-in my terms (though medically inaccurate), non-pathological-course-dependent-frontal lobe atrophy (completely fictitious).

so i hear of the U.S. Supreme Court extending gun rights; right to keep and bear arms for the purpose of self-defence vs. efforts to reduce role of firearms in American life; Chicago shootings and in the UK, Cumbria-and yet i do not seem to challenge this in a way i think i would have before reading medicine. i should have a stand, but i don't-that's probably because the majority in Malaysia aren't too exposed to our own laws and the society hardly has a role to play in changing law, so why care? we do not question the law since we know nothing about it, and we obey it out of a genuine worry about the consequences of disobedience, what not with our friendly, partial press reporting fates of 'criminals'. a habit of obedience, as Austin calls it, with the ever-present threat of sanctions (in which home has an incalculable collection of, repressive much?). punishable for acts we never knew were crimes to begin with.

then you hear of China-Taiwan bilateral ties (finally!) mostly achieved through new laws-all politically and economically-driven. and i still don't question its flaws, neither am i skeptical of this oh-too-samaritan-like facade.

at the end of it all, i narrow it down to just one thing-i have lost my brain doing medicine for 2 years. maybe not the entire brain-i am sure those required for sensory and motor functions are still intact, and one thing for sure, my hippocampus is probably as large as an elephant or perhaps a London taxi driver's. i've just lost the parts that make me different from an automaton.

hmmm. i should blog on asturias. yes, after i'm done with answering 'how one would assess the benefits of complementary medicine', and also after the Jap vs Paraguay match. asian pride.

2009-12-30T15:07:00.002+08:00

I am sorry I let my gratitude sleep when perils have past. Thank you for walking through all difficulties alongside me. Your treasures, I am now aware of.

Impermanence

2009-12-30T11:06:00.004+08:00

The fact is, you don't know what you want in life. You traverse a never-ending path, uncertain of your future, constantly praying you find your pot of gold. You rejoice when you do, you sulk when you don't. But these feelings do not last. In fact, nothing does.

You regret making certain decisions in life, but you move on and live with the fact that you have. And it is then that you appreciate impermanence because you know this torment is transient and in these situations, you convince yourself that it is. Equipped with this, you tread on, aware that at any coordinate of your causeway, every door is open for change. The only question that remains is, do you dare walk through it? To the question of your life, you are the answer, and to the problems, you are the solution.

I digress. Anyway, CARIF has been great thus far: mind-numbing work, but lovely people!

Hello, Again!

2009-06-05T07:21:00.003+08:00

My first post since I've been at the UK. I'm almost done with my first year. Hmmm..have lost all ability of creative writing (if I had any to begin with). Medicine kills brain cells. It's so glaringly obvious-I can't write more than 5 sentences.

Almost done with exams! Woohoo-let's hope I don't need to re-sit for any 2nd MB papers *prays hard* Can't wait for Iceland! When I'm officially done with first year, and when I have nothing better to do with my life spending one month at Perth (in solitude), I shall write up on all that has happened the past academic year.

Bon Voyage!

2008-09-27T17:10:00.003+08:00

I still remember being envious of seniors leaving college a year back, about how they could finally leave what I used to call a hoosegow. However, one year later, I find myself feeling nostalgic at the thought of leaving the country. I actually miss college! (yes, even I can't believe I'm saying this!) I miss that secret ingredient of togetherness we shared when we were thrown into oblivion in that oil palm plantation. In that 2-year period, I discovered and learnt aspects of mankind; the fact that this world does not revolve around just me and that I just can't have everything the way I want it, the brutality of those judgmental and that no one can be trusted. But also, I realised the world isn't as bad as many believe it to be. I used to think everyone was like me-individualistic, self-centered and denigrative. Pretty much the 'I don't care what happens to the rest of the world, as long as I survive-survive well that is' attitude. Thus, at the beginning, I despised the collectivisitic methods of college, its dogmatism and the egocentric behaviour of the administrators. But it was from the teamwork necessary in almost every activity we engaged in (except our assignments of course!) that I saw the goodness in others.

*sighs* I don't have much time left. So let's skip the emotional heap and adopt systematic presentation. In a nutshell,

(i) Every cloud has a silver lining-why remember the bad and forget the good? As all men and women have both testosterone and estrogen present, both good and bad characteristics are there in all of us to be discovered. As Buddhism encourages one never to denigrate others and aggrandise oneself, learn to believe that it is the goodness we should live on with, and it is that pearl in which we should shine. As I've said before, flush down our egocentric side.
(ii) You are what you believe yourself to be-shove aside your propensity to pay so much attention to what people think of you. This will only hinder your process of self-development. Believe in what YOU want to be, and strive to achieve it regardless of whether or not people think you can. If you like singing, by all means, get yourself on stage and start singing! That's what I did back at college, and tada! It didn't turn out too bad! My maths teacher got me to record the official Maths website song with a very good compatriot of mine!
(iii) Failure is inexistent-You only fail when you stop trying. Never, at any cost, give up. NEVER. Because when even you think you yourself have lost all hope, there's nothing left to get yourself moving once again. You pass everyday hoping that you didn't. Bear in mind that regardless of what position you take in this hierarchal society, YOU HAVE A PURPOSE. Fulfill this purpose. The world depends on it. As Paul Davies stressed in The Goldilocks Enigma, all of us, I repeat, every single one of us, have a special place in the ticking of the Universe.
(iv) Aim for the stars-and..NO, don't think that it's alright even if you did fall. You won't fall to the moon. You fall to the dark, ether (scientifically wrong, just for literary purposes) space and drown in this organic compound. You shouldn't even THINK of failing. Believe in the Law of Attraction itself, because if you don't, practising it would be of no use. Believe it works, if not, the idea of attracting what you desire simply by thinking of it would be baseless. (Note: Apparently, this law of attraction has roots in quantum physics, but on this topic, we shall not elaborate.)
(v) Remember the first 4 under any circumstances. :)

Life is a bed of roses! Life is fair! It has been for me, at least. Many have told me that life isn't as idealistic as I think of it to be. But who cares, I'm the author of my book of life. I decide on what I want and do not want to think. I determine which path I shall traverse. And shall I suffer the consequences of my belief, I'll pull through the aftermaths by upholding my principles.

So, the time has come. Goodbye Malaysia :) *bah, I'll be back in 2 months anyway!*

sighs

2008-09-23T19:17:00.003+08:00

We, advocates of human rights should all mourn for a country that still chooses to remain in the labyrinth of praetorian bureaucracy.

Free those with conscience and imprison the sycophants!

Mareishia Mareishia

2008-09-19T15:00:00.014+08:00

Stalemates are always boring. Pre-departure life is lackluster despite the pressing need to pack. Have been procrastinating from accomplishing the list of basic science terms Cambrijee sent over. Hehe. Have been repeatedly advised to be slightly more apolitical hence my lost of interest in blogging recently.

I guess I misprize the importance of blogs in expressing oneself. Never was the eloquent type to begin with. *sighs* Anyway, it's great to know Teresa Kok's finally released from the 6ft*8ft cell-one can't help but to vividly imagine how claustrophobic that could get! It's worrying to know that RPK still is detained despite health complications.

Ooh! I know I'm outdated, but I just found out that our DAARRRLLIINNGGG 'albatross' baby proposed a Race Relations Act. *yawns* Another act to reinforce the fact that democracy, in Malaysia is but a facade. This isn't solving the problem at its core. We need to stop labeling each other according to race, forget our differences and work on our similarities. That's it! But for the power hungry, bangsa Malaysia is all..balderdash. Playing race-based politics, to them is the best method to ensure their survival, and their 51 (or perhaps more) years of tyranny. My hypothesis is that all Malaysians are at risk of racial riots every 20 years. It's pretty much like how the economy may trip into a recession in the postulated 10-year business cycle. 1969, 1988 and the most recent 2008. May 13th, Operasi Lalang and Malaysian 'squatters'! :D Whenever UMNO finds themselves losing support, they'd stir racial sensitivities.

1988-Political turmoil in UMNO itself brought about Team A and B, subsequently UMNO Baru and Semangat 46. What did the intelligent medical student do then? Ooohh, they never do the dirty work. NEVER. Get the young, naive and delicate creatures to do the filthy job! Senang je..Ah Jeep and Kimchi-san can execute his master plan and he watches at the comfort of his armchair. At least by doing that, he'd be able to secure some extreme voters, no? Hmm..Upon reflection, I just realised that 1969 and 1988 shared one hero. The Dreaded Man. It is a fact that the May 13 incident didn't occur spontaneously. It was a coup d'etat against Tunku Abdul Rahman, and he was well-aware of it. I believe I've stated before that TAR predicted the May 13 massacre on May 10th itself and announced it on radio channels worldwide. But not many believed him. I extracted this statement from one of the books a casually skimmed through:-

"You know Harun was one of those..Harun, Mahathir, Ghazali, Shafie..who were all working with Razak to oust me, to take over my place.."

To forget history is to repeat it. The non-Malays should not be insinuated by racial statements purposely made by politicians to instigate racial riots. Bear in mind that it's all part of Ummm-Nooo's plot to stay in power. Through this, nevertheless, we can almost be certain that it's topsy-turvy in there :P

Remember. Remain cool, calm and composed. We're an educated bunch. We don't fall for their games.

Platinum weiii!

2008-09-19T15:00:00.013+08:00

I don't want to leave!! *sniff sniff* Ironic enough, I recall saying the exact opposite, even more passionately 2 years back! I immediately feel reluctant to pack upon thinking of the academic pressure that awaits me. TAK NAK! TAK NAK! :P My clothes itself already weigh 20 kg which happens to be my weight limit. That simply implies that I'd have to streamline my luggage once again.

10-12kg on clothes and the remaining for the miscellaneous. Enough about leaving the country. Let's talk about Cathay Cineleisure's Platinum Movie Suite! :P Get 2 tickets for the price of 1- That's RM 25 for two people! Valid everyday (including public holidays) before 6 p.m. It's definitely a deal never to be forgone!

The usual three musketeers (Sawo, Sayang and I) paid a visit to the Platinum Movie Suite for the first time and decided to watch...*drumrolls*

Which, by the way, got sayang all cuddled up and shivering

One word to describe the movie. Gruesome. We had blood spurting in all directions. Sensational murder. And a decent load of anatomy. Of pyramidal tracts, brachial artery..liquid nitrogen, asphyxiation..nitric acid and hyperosmolarity. Anoxia and Hypoxaemia. Not to mention a huge deal of snipping with enormous hand shears. Overall, demented.

Now, on how we spent the hour before the movie started. Sawo brutally snatched the Xbox from me and was satisfied with his comfortable couch and the temperate conditions of the lounge. Sayang and I however decided to pursue another luxury of life; massage. We got ourselves 45 minutes of a Swedish massage and discussed about the LHC, Big Bang, Higgs boson and even wormholes. Oh yes, and also the recent MRI image of orgasm. hehe!

We engaged in a light debate on wormholes (which I finally won of course! CHEWAH :P) and decided to even search the internet regarding the subject. We stumbled on this pic

Sayang immediately exclaimed, "Wah, ada throat lagi!"

I give up on him. Period. The reclining seats in the cinema were as usual, beautiful.

On another note, Aunt Mary, my singing teacher gave me beautiful hair accessories as my farewell gift. Will snap a picture of the gift later and shall update this post when I've done so. I'll definitely miss singing, and Aunty Mary..and vocal opening sessions :)

Ku Man Hae

2008-09-17T16:05:00.002+08:00

Figure out what the title means yourself :P

Lose:

(i) Egocentricism
(ii) Abnegation
(iii) Fear
(iv) Judgmentalism
(v) Prevarication

Siapa makan cili dialah rasa pedasnya.

This post is not targeted towards anyone in particular but simply a matter of self-reflection.

Food For Thought

2008-09-16T20:34:00.000+08:00

A Little Cherokee Story

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, 'My son, the battle is between 'two wolves' inside us all.

'One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.'

'The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

School rules are meant to be broken-only those who break them would survive after all :)

2008-09-13T23:04:00.003+08:00

I've figured out a new way to express my dissatisfaction! Try understand me if you can! Buah kakaka!

Yi ka, ngo dei ke PM yiu pei ge kok ka zhi to hui yao lik liong, so yi hui yong ISA lei pik 3 ko yan yap kam. FINE. This isn't working.

Oh come on! The candlelight vigil is perhaps the most peaceful form of protest! You didn't have to disperse them in 12 minutes! I'm beginning to wonder..hmmm..who could the mastermind be?

Let's say, erm..the discipline teacher conspires with the frequent rule-breaker at school to put some of his disliked students in detention. And let's say these goody-two-shoes are naive, idealistic creatures who would never expect such connivances.

Mr. Abdul, the discipline teacher promises Amat, the notorious student to exclude him from all punishments for his previous offences just so that he'd assist Abdul in achieving his ultimate goal. And so this is the plan: Amat is to claim that he smoked discreetly at 10.30a.m. earlier. Ah Lian, the ever-nosy school magazine editor reports that Amat admitted to smoking at 10.30 on a Monday morning (That day was a Monday mind you). Coincidentally, Abdul secretly despises Ah Lian for her somewhat veracious nature. Amat was then absent from school for a period of time and returned reprimanding Ah Lian for tarnishing his image, also demanding for an apology. He claims that the word 'earlier' in his statement referred to the day before, a Sunday which wasn't a schooling day. So, it was World War III between Amat's loyal 'konco-konco' and Ah Lian's eye-witnesses and supporters.

The school's renowned 'rant and rave' guy, ManMan could not hold back and spilt everything onto his blog. Abdul who regards freedom of speech with utmost disdain saw his opportunity coming. To appear rather just, he suspends Amat from school for the next few years; the students were generally glad (well, of course except for Amat's konco's). But next, he abuses his veto power and 'imprisons' Ah Lian and ManMan with the excuse of securing peace and tranquility at school. Apparently, they were creating too much hoohah and their schoolmates were beginning to lose focus on their studies.

For some reason or another, Abdul still wasn't satisfied. He was still..threatened by the more competent and charismatic Ah Wah. So, he decides to deter Ah Wah from even hoping for his position by capturing his compatriot, Cuckoo. Don't ask me about Cuckoo's abrupt introduction into this story. I do medicine, all I do is regurgitate.

Abdul, too pressured by all the vituperations decided to release Ah Lian. But poor poor ManMan and Cuckoo's condition are still unknown. And now, Cuckoo's gone! The plot deepens! Hehe! But how much longer will it take before sudden death takes place?

So, you tell me. As the chess piece, should Amat bear all the burden or should Abdul be responsible for this crackdown? Or worse, perhaps the fact that Abdul's predecessor allowed the breeding of Amat's species and even catalysed it should be taken into consideration?

If this case took place a decade ago, perhaps the students wouldn't bother that much. Ignorance is bliss. They wouldn't bother simply because they didn't understand the concept of collectivism. They didn't simply because Abdul's predecessor wouldn't elucidate them on this 'right' they were awarded with since birth. So, even if dozens of Ah Lians and ManMans were arrested, the students wouldn't be infuriated. But things have changed, and Abdul wouldn't have it the easy way.

The students wouldn't like Abdul's dictator ways. And Abdul would be shelled. His plans would only backfire and it'd only pave a clearer and easier path towards victory for Ah Wah. Abdul's initial plan to warn students that he doesn't favour himself being criticised would only be an action of positive feedback. The students know what they can and cannot do, and they have the backing of clubs and societies.

But is that enough? The students are still no match for the entire troop of Abdul's Kadet Remaja Polis or Kadet Bersatu. They can't use guns. When they opt candles, Kadet Remaja chooses guns. Tell me, who'd dare face gunpowder? We don't find many Master Jirans of Qixia Temple 1937.

Remember, at school, rules and regulations are meant to be broken. Facts are meant to be distorted. Ah Lian was detained to protect her from Amat's koncos. Cuckoo, for reasons proven to be untrue. Things just work otherwise at school here. If nobody sorts out these distortions, I'm afraid this school may be closed down soon.

Sediakan Payung Sebelum Hujan LORR

2008-09-13T10:14:00.001+08:00

I've deleted some posts just to be safe lor. Better to be safe than sorry mah. Plus I'll be leaving in 15 days, so why put myself at risk?

It's sad that the comments go along with the posts though :(

ARGH!

2008-09-12T17:03:00.003+08:00

OH MY GOSH! My uncle's stalking me *shivers* Aiyoyoyoyo..DIE LOR :P

GO AWAY!! Oh yes, if you're bothered to read this, we'll be visiting you soon, so brace yourself! Buah kakaka!

A somewhat..veridical (?) discussion about racism between Faiz sayang and me.

2008-09-07T12:25:00.003+08:00

Faiz and I were at the end of our tethers about the current political scene, that we diverted our topic of discussion from hurricanes...to the..hmmm..NEP?

unicefKanzen*naf says:
I watched it in Eureka and it's amazing how they do it!
paezbak says:
u mean hurricane pakai vapour or water?
paezbak says:
ok
paezbak says:
sambung balik
paezbak says:
i disagree with malay supremacy
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
I don't even know where to start!
paezbak says:
but somehow
paezbak says:
i agree with the privileges given
paezbak says:
*bcus i received one
paezbak says:
hehhe
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
*faints*
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
I do not think you should be having that sort of mentality
paezbak says:
no laa
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
You received your scholarship based on your own capability
paezbak says:
gurau jee..
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
Not because of the special privilege
paezbak says:
i know i am capable
paezbak says:
heheh

paezbak says:
IB can score what

paezbak says:
heheh

paezbak says:

paezbak says:
but not as good as you laa..

paezbak says:
heheh

paezbak says:

*unicefKanzen*naf says:
I agree up to an extent that perhaps the education privilege awarded should be maintained, but I also feel that it should be toned down, and well..bent a little

*unicefKanzen*naf says:
For example, the UiTM issue. Why not open it up to more non-Malays? It's time to push the students OUT of their comfort zone. Competition, after all is the best route to improvement

*unicefKanzen*naf says:
The only reason I would agree with the educational advantage is due to sheer demography. First of all, Malays are the majority of our population, thus whether we like it or not, part of the formula should consider the demographic aspect. Secondly, if Chinese and Indians were to insist on shunting away the NEP and all other privileges, they first need to provide ground for the Malays to better ..

*unicefKanzen*naf says:
themselves, and what better method is there than education?
paezbak says:
you know sherms
paezbak says:
sometimes
paezbak says:
its easy for us, me and you to discuss about this...
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
Next, we also have to take into consideration the geographical allocation of the Malays ie..the more rural areas, and having said that would automatically imply a shortage of infrastructure etc..and it is these people we want to move away from poverty to close the economic gap
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
I know
paezbak says:
but when we go meet the ppl kat bawah sane
paezbak says:
ull know what they are thinking
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
I believe that's the advantage of being in the middle-class
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
We are neither rich or poor
paezbak says:
kite cam dlm comfortable zone
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
The rich would want to keep their fortune, and wouldn't give a damn about all these
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
The poor would only focus on how distraught they are about being..well, poor and disadvantaged!
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
We have our plights too sayang
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
The middle-class, if maintained righteous (meaning..DOWN WITH CORRUPTION, DOWN WITH RACISM etc), would never climb up the ladder
paezbak says:
but for us
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
The Chinese in the middle-class complain about scholarships
paezbak says:
kite da comfortable
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
I don't know about the Malays of course
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
And whenever we think about these, it sparks racism once again!
paezbak says:
so, climbing up ladder kite nye priority
paezbak says:
the lower class
paezbak says:
i mean yg btol2 low
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
Unless you decide on staying within the middle-class income bracket
paezbak says:
for them its only
paezbak says:
about surviving
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
Exactly. And the lower-class Malays would always think all Chinese are rich?
paezbak says:
yesh
paezbak says:
while the chinese lower
paezbak says:
would say its
paezbak says:
unfair
paezbak says:
so, here we go again
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
But, the amazing part of it is that all races of the lower-class income bracket seem to be more united
paezbak says:
heheh
paezbak says:
well,
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
It's a never-ending cycle. Which is why I think Anwar's idea of abolishing NEP and focusing on narrowing the economic gap regardless of race may have a better chance to diminishing racism
paezbak says:
nep
paezbak says:
die xfocus for lower class...
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
http://tatterdemalion-veritas.blogspot.com
paezbak says:
i mean
*unicefKanzen*naf says:

paezbak says:
xnak
paezbak says:
heheh
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
It's severely exploited by the rich Malays if you ask me
paezbak says:
yup!
*unicefKanzen*naf says:
And the Chinese misuse the NEP to climb the monetary ladder as well

Beijing Welcomes You

2008-08-30T22:45:00.003+08:00

I love this video. No offence to the Chinese government of course :)

Enjoy!

sniff sniff I'm touched! Raja welcomed me to the blogsphere, on his blog! Another great honour :D

2008-08-25T18:08:00.002+08:00

The title says it all. My next blog subject: My fellow baby-monster, and also a friend who surprisingly makes the same careless mistakes as me in exams. *pukes*

But first, my bank draft awaits me.

Of Monty Hall and Politics

2008-08-24T01:07:00.003+08:00

Shiang Jin's post inspired me to just humbly comment on the political hurly-burly over at Malaysia. I know little, but this is just my personal opinion.

In reply to Shiang Jin's open-ended question,

I personally think the usual rule of the game does not apply in this case. The host consists of the entire Malaysia, and a bunch of ******** ministers, and considering the host's behaviour, we have to take into consideration the vos Savant scenario. So ultimately, none will prevail as 'true' leaders.

Only if the host was certain on which door the car laid behind, would switching double chances of improved leadership, no? :D hehe..(psst! Too sensitive to speak explicitly)

Even if we were successful in obtaining the car, its efficiency will slowly but surely diminish and at the end of the day, the car would be no different from the goat. The car would even be more lethal than the goat considering its deceiving appearance. It's with this 'appearance' that the abuse of power takes place.

Nobody can withstand the temptation of power. Even a leader of utmost integrity would succumb to the devious influence of power and wealth.

You know what I think? Just exile all politicians :P That's obviously a severely biased comment. Hehe

Oh my gosh, I think Shiang Jin just read my blog

2008-08-22T17:55:00.003+08:00

Lo ye! It is you debating with me regarding public transportation, fuel price etc, isn't it?
It's an honour to have you reading my blog lo ye. But, be careful with what you post. You know well enough what I mean. We might have made it through BTN, but blogs are silent killers.

On a more positive note, WELCOME! :D Proud to have one of Malaysia's top scorers commenting on my posts :)

Bah

2008-08-22T17:48:00.002+08:00

I'm no mind reader. So tell me what you're thinking.
I'm no expert conversationalist. So sometimes, start a topic.
And last but not least, I'm petulant. And my patience is wearing thin.

43rd International Youth Camp, Korea National Commission for UNESCO-Part 1

2008-08-22T16:41:00.005+08:00

I'm back in Malaysia! *heaves a sigh of relief* FINALLY. It's not that I didn't enjoy my trip to Korea, it's just that I funnily and surprisingly missed Malaysia as well. Which really makes me ponder whether or not I'd be capable of withstanding this feeling for a period longer than 2 weeks when I further my studies over at the UK.

Pardon the digression. I shall now blog on my best camp experience yet! hehe! I don't even know how to begin! I find it so difficult to describe it in words, and I rarely find myself lost for words. Yeah sure, I admit it was rather intimidating at the very beginning before I met the campers. All thoughts of inferiority flooded my puny mind and uncertainty just overwhelmed. I was worried whether the campers would like me, whether I'd be able to perform well whilst at the camp, and whether I was worthy of this golden opportunity.

But the moment I was ushered by the IYC committee just cleared my doubts. Their friendly smiles just warm your heart and seem to reach out to assure you that this is one camp you'd never feel left out from. And I didn't, despite being one of the ugliest looking campers! (I'd have expected people to only pay attention to the physically attractive ones, but oh well, I guess I was lucky!)

It was devastating first to be made country leader-I just didn't like the 10.30p.m. meetings when we should have instead be socialising at Open Cafe, but thank goodness it was only one night! Workshops were mind-boggling and at the same time eye-opening. For one thing, I never knew Gloucester existed-and mortifying enough, I'll be heading to the UK. Never knew it was a fishing industry, and never knew their society suffered from urbanisation threats. Until we had the workshop requiring us to debate this over-Urbanisation vs. Cultural Heritage. Apparently a 'glocal' issue. Mind you, our theme was Glocal Solidarity, Glocal Action.

We also had workshops requiring us to speak regarding local taboos, completely disregarding the boundaries of press freedom/ freedom of speech in our respective countries. I personally enjoyed this-and sharing issues over at Malaysia with others around the world, and also exchanging pieces of information with them are invaluable experiences. Through these workshops, we noticed the similarities in the problems we faced. This subsequently led to a better comprehension of a pivotal word throughout the entire camp-glocal. It dawned on me that local problems should not be solved in isolation as they aren't standing alone to begin with. Broaden our perspectives and view these issues from a global panorama-and if possible, solve it in a globally and locally favourable manner. It's pretty much the cliche phrase; think globally, act locally. If you ask me, that's perhaps one thing Dr M has been successful in doing. Despite all the cronyism, nepotism etc you name it, he has probably done it, and also inspite of the fact that he is discreetly the fifth richest man in Malaysia just by being a politician, his 'Look East' policies actually did Malaysia some good. Malaysia's PPF probably expanded-and I dare say there was both economic growth and development, though problems of income inequality pervaded. His reign is comparable to that of maybe..hmm..South Korea's Park Chung-hee. They are seriously similar in more ways than one..*chokes*

So, after a long day of workcamps-here came the even more stressful moment! The cultural performance in which I wasn't prepared for at all! However, it turned out to be a stroll along the park. The audience was very sporting and ran up onto stage almost immediately when I requested for 5 volunteers to learn the 'poco-poco'. I personally enjoyed the performance, and I hope the audience did as well :) It was rather spontaneous that I had to explain regarding poco-poco and communicate with the crowd, but experiences from college eased the process. So, yes, I thought it turned out great! Eleh, masuk bakul angkat sendiri pulak :P All credit should however go to Kim Lee for teaching me the dance! hehe! The poco-poco was so famous that the guys even danced it on 'clubbing' night during open cafe!

We were made to teach the 'poco-poco' as part of the morning exercise programme the following day. The turn out was rather impressive :) I was pleasantly flabbergasted. Am still waiting for more pics to be uploaded though. Hardly snapped any pics myself, and I'm beginning to regret that.

Am pretty much done with the first 2 days. Shall take a break now..whilst hoping for more campers to upload or send over the pictures. I miss the camp dearly. I miss the campers dearly. I hate it when we do not appreciate things enough when we have them, and begin missing them when they've been taken away from us. Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder.

IKETERU!

2008-08-04T20:22:00.009+08:00

Having visited the restaurant 4 times already, I think I'm finally ready to blog on its marvellous, mouth-watering Jap food! hehe..Its food is..simply unsurpassable. And for RM98++, it is a REAL bargain.

The concept of their buffet is as such: You place your orders similarly to how you would normally during ala carte sessions, instead of grabbing small amounts of readily prepared food from counters such as in conventional-style buffets. Commonly, you'd find the food of lower quality and also certain dishes crossed out from the list. Iketeru's buffet, however, is unique in exactly this manner. I mean, they even serve hamachi! Which japanese buffet does that?!

A rough indication of the price of hamachi-one serving consisting of 5 slices would cost approximately RM65. My family would usually take about hmmm..let's see...25 slices? So, that'd amount to 5 servings. From simple arithmetics, hamachi itself would already cost RM325.
An interesting dish I have been introduced to only at Iketeru is its surf clams (forgot its name in japanese)-its texture is greatly similar to that of tako or ika, but it has an optimum tinge of sweetness to it. When served with lemon juice squeezed over it, mastication and the act of swallowing would never be more pleasurable :P

Well, obviously, one could never leave out teppanyakis while having Japanese-the beauty of having teppanyaki prepared impromptu definitely lies in the freshness of melted garlic butter with particles of grinded black pepper. The best is yet to come; Iketeru has teppanyaki for EVERYTHING! From prawns, scallops, oysters, shitake mushrooms, steak (in which I sadly choose not to indulge in), chicken, gindara (cod fish) and obviously, the never-left-behind yassai. The teppanyakis by far, top my list. I adored their teppanyaki so much that I devoured them before any pics were taken!

Well, we obviously had their makimono, in short, maki-basically just unagi maki and spider maki. I have a reputation to shunt away all 'fishy' fish-you know, those with the unbearable, foul taste. Hehe. But, their unagi was made in a way that its 'fishiness' (pardon the grammatical error) simply could not be tasted. And their spider maki, one word: CRISPY!

Lacks mastery of photography, but oh well :D

Gindara Sakamushi, I left the best for last :) The tour de france. The japanese translates to cod fish steamed in sake, and the serving is garnished with chopped spring onions, carrot shreds, a small slice of mushroom and tofu. The tenderness of its flesh is indescribable. A brilliant concoct consisting sake and a slight tinge of miso soup as its gravy will leave you licking every remaining drop of it.

The morale of the story-you really do get what you pay for. So, do your cost-benefit analysis etc, and make the right choice! :P Get yourself to IKETERU! (They should pay me for this really)

Here are some more photographs of my family and I whilst we gained a few kilos :D

I stink at naming posts

2008-08-02T00:39:00.002+08:00

To be honest, my mind's an entangled universe-literally-just imagine the superstrings interlinking the four general forces and you'd ace the visualisation test.

All I know is that I need my moments of tirade, and there's no place better than this blog, is there?

I'm just disappointed with myself, to be honest. I see everyone progressing-making astounding changes, for the better, when I on the other hand, slowly but surely deteriorate into the realm of mediocrity. I've always WANTED to be different, and it is just this populist desire that makes me no different, really.

I feel as if two years of my life have been subjected to redundancy and that I've become less..driven I guess. That, however isn't something beyond salvage.

I'm sorry people, I'm just feeling slightly down in the dumps today..hehe..very rare for someone like myself, but yeah, I'm human and even the Sun would eventually run out of hydrogen and helium one day.

Throughout my entire life, the love of others has always been my motivation. I'd be ecstatic even if I just saw the slightest portrayal of love-in any form. I seemed to have absorbed their happiness. Thus, despite troughs in my roller-coaster ride, I'd look out for these miniscule, ubiquitous shooting stars on Earth-and voila, I'd be happy again. And even if I don't, I still insist on smiling. I loathe the thought of ruining someone else's day just because Lady Luck decided to take a day off away from you.

But frankly, it's difficult. I seem to live a dual-personality life, not exactly that of Jeckyl and Hyde's, but rather how Anne Frank described herself to be. Well, of course, my predicaments are nothing as compared to hers. On the exterior, I may be garrulous, cheeky and what not. But on the inside, it's a world's difference. I need some space..probably as much as I do physically considering the fact that I'm horizontally-challenged.

So if you think you understand me, think twice. Even I don't know what sort of person I am.

Agenda

2008-07-31T00:40:00.007+08:00

Realised that I haven't been utilising this blog as a journal much. So I thought I'd just update some happenings around me lately.

Saturday, 26th July

For the first time ever, Faiz sayang drove! So there it came, a sporty turquoise Gen 2 roving the quiet, run-down street until its driver noticed a rather 'spherical' shaped Homo sapien looking absolutely unkempt and dilapidated ambling two and fro under the scorching sun.

And so we had an EXTREMELY slow drive over to Mid Valley only to meet up with an exhausted, under-dressed creature we all know as sawo :) That poor fella had been roaming from one retail store to another just to search for a coat of his size-which, mind you, is extraordinarily difficult.

Faiz and I decided to be kind Samaritans and actually accompanied him to search over at some other outlets, only to feel even more crestfallen. Nevertheless, he managed to find it the following day over at Berjaya Times Square-so, enough about him.

Faiz, on the other hand, spent a whopping RM229 on a pair of GAP jeans. A classic incident of conspicuous consumption-a living example of Veblen's theory of consumption. Well, let's just hope its quality shows over time :) I must admit though, that the jeans did look rather attractive.

We strolled over to Gardens as well, and stopped by at a magazine shop soon after. I grabbed the latest New Scientist issue and shockingly found pics dictating ovulation. Boy, did it look like cod liver oil capsules. They stumbled upon this stunning natural process whilst preparing to carry out hysterectomy. Here are the clearest pics ever taken of this ever-occurring, life-sustaining process:

And Sawo's immediate reaction was: "Ewww..it's IN YOU sawo *adds disgusted and condescending intonation*"

And sayang was practically speechless.

Gee, I wonder if they have microscopic pictures snapped during ejaculation. HMPH

To carry on, it was 4 plus and was time for sayang to be all pious and pray :) We were absolutely shocked to discover that Gardens could be THAT ridiculous and religion-insensitive not to have a surau.

Before we actually did confirm that, sayang was making a hypothesis that this probably implied rich people don't pray. And when the guard directed us over to Mid Valley for the surau, we unanimously nodded in agreement and uttered, "Hypothesis accepted"

So, while sayang was praying, sawo and I had that sudden urge to learn some photography and begun behaving like tourists from other LDCs, photographing with my pathetic camera phone.

And the disastrous products are as follows:

We adjourned to Sushi King hoping to satisfy our growling stomachs but ended up only finding a bunch of impertinent, exasperated staff serving us. Oh well, nothing unexpected really. My only regret is the fact that I did not manage to snap a pic of their facial expression for blogging purposes.

Anyway, am worn out entirely. Shall visit slumberland. To be continued..(I just realised that I never actually do continue my post, do I? :P)

I Look To You

2008-07-28T19:11:00.004+08:00

I'm enraptured to present: Whitney Houston's newest song (which isn't officially released just yet), sung by R Kelly. One of those rare English songs I fancy :D

As I laid me down,
Heaven hear me now,
I'm lost without a call,
After giving it my all,

Winter storms has come,
And darken my sun,
After all we've been through,
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you,
I look to you..
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can move on,

I look to you,
I look to you,
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear the song,

I look to you.

(Intentionally Left Untitled)

2008-07-27T01:47:00.003+08:00

So I've been doing a lil bit of thinking. The aftermath of my thoughts and my decision would probably be painful. But I guess I would tolerate this slight, temporary pain better than I would the pain begotten if I stubbornly satisfied my emotional cravings.

My policy is this simple. To me, if the probability is less than that 0f 0.5, no matter how difficult it is, I'd forgo these transient things of life. Everything is impermanent. The difference is its degree of impermanence-some things in life just last longer than others, but ultimately, they cease to exist.

I know my strengths, or perhaps the lack of it, and I certainly am sure of my weaknesses. Say that I have a self-inferiority complex, that's the least of my concerns. What I know is, I don't get myself battling in something that I'd never win.

I have decided. Coming to this conclusion itself is already adequately convoluted. I expect adhering to it to be even more challenging. But I'm up for this. I know I won't regret, as it'd at least yield more happiness than it would otherwise.

After all, to live is to suffer-in more than just one way.

Another Random Post

2008-07-25T03:11:00.008+08:00

I seem to have difficulties giving titles to my posts. So, oh well, let's just stick to the word 'random'. I just returned home from my medical check-up and also a short survey of lamps for my newly-renovated, humble abode and man am I exhausted! Not only was the medical check-up colossal monetary wise. It caused great agony and unnecessary stress just waiting for two painful injections-one for the basic blood test and the other for my Mantoux test *nods vigorously* Yes I have injection phobia. I think they call it tryanophobia. Am just anticipating microscission to save me from all this trouble.

To be honest, I have begun to adapt to this through gradual exposure. I guess when one has set their expectations to be as such, he or she is psychologically-armed for it. So..GOODBYE TRYANOPHOBIA! Buah kakakaka!

Well, this post was not meant to be dedicated to encountering needles and the fear of it. It's objective is for me to opine on things I have seen and experienced. First in line, my working experience at HONDA.

I've worked there for a bit more than a month now and sad to say, I've actually adapted to their inefficiency and lackluster attitude towards work. To clarify on things, when I say I've adapted, I don't mean part of me has assimilated to these characteristics. What I really mean is that I've learnt to be more tolerant towards different people. I've had Bryan, who graduated in psychology from the University of Nottingham, sharing with me his working experience after having returned from the UK, venting on how different Malaysians were in social interactions and working ethics. I recall him warning me that the start of it would be a complete..hmm..vicissitude as compared to what I would have experienced over in the UK and that I'd feel suffocated. I could see he was speaking based on experience-and this one-month stint at Honda has convinced me that I'm yet to be prepared for such differences.

I used to think that I'd easily maneuver thru these differences and accept people for the way they are. After all, it is a diverse society. But I was wrong. Terribly mistaken as a matter of fact. I realised I wanted them to do things the way I did mine. And I realised in this self-centered world, one gets rewarded for a good job done, with more work and less gratitude. These people exploit laborious characters. In a way, I feel as if I've added no value to HONDA and worse, I feel as if I am to blame for the despicable work attitude of a few people.

Of course I have Chong Han who has worked there for 6 months telling me to be more streetwise. Thinking back, I was silly not to heed his advice. Nevertheless, I still managed to carve a forced smile on my face. You see, I believe that you shouldn't allow others' behaviour to influence how you feel, instead, you should influence their behaviour with how you react to things. Since I can't change the way they work and their morale, I could just stick to being who I am, apparently the ever-smiling-one, and hopefully influence them to be more motivated.

I guess I was wrong to rant and rave about not learning anything. To put things in perspective, no, I didn't gain any academic information. What I did gain however is a better panorama of human behaviour, and possibly patience :P I survived by Bryan's advice to focus on the similarities instead of the differences between people-more specifically those in Honda. It is a brutal fact that we humans, in general, can only practise the theory of self-interest, successfully I mean. We bother too much about the tangible things in life that we forget about the soft-sides, the aspects that truly matter. We're too engaged in the fast track rat-race in life that we've abdicated the values of humanity. Sad but true.

Would saying that indirectly imply nirvana is unattainable? ( I say this because Nirvana means freedom from all worries, troubles, complexes, fabrications and ideas) If we carried on living like this, well perhaps. But one of the four noble truths mentioned that nirvana is indeed achievable. Through nirodha-the unmaking of sensual cravings and conceptual attachments (I think!) is nirvana a feasible goal in life. I'm a terrible Buddhist to be honest. I do not understand these concepts, and even if I did, I have no confidence in being able to practise its believes. I cling on too tightly to transient things in life. I, sadly fail to grasp and implement the concept, 'matter is void, void is matter'.

I dare say that I have understood that life means suffering, and perhaps am beginning to comprehend the causes of suffering. But I'm still light years away from understanding the cessation of suffering and the path leading to it.

At present, I'm just a student who craves for ACADEMIC SUCCESS-which is impermanent. So, technically, I'm not practising the teachings of Buddhism. And I don't think I will be in the next 4 decades.

More to come on my reflection of life...after dinner *stomach growls* Itadakimas!

Just Artistic

2008-07-24T22:14:00.004+08:00

So here I am with a terrible headache and still adamant on posting in my blog. The power of music, or art as a whole really. It seems to amplify your pleasures and numbs your senses.

Though many may not share my infatuation for Jay Chou, I still think his piano playing skills are second to none. As proof of my claim, I shall provide you with a grandeur Jay Chou performance, extracted from one of his recent movies, Secret.

Well, I certainly hope Jay will be around long enough for the next century to appreciate his music! Then again, time and tide wait for no men, teens of the next generation would probably fancy other music genres. That's what my parents say anyway..My dad would always go, "Imagine your children saying exactly the same thing to you!" whenever my bro and I rant and rave about him dancing to the 60's and 70's rock and roll.

I still remember the English SPM essay question I chose to answer was on music. I was elated when I saw that..and as usual I, being my garrulous self just meandered my way through :P Music is possibly one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.

There were so many occasions in which music was my only companion-I would find myself locking myself in my room, crouching at a corner and just sobbing my lungs out if I were sad. On more joyous days, I would be hopping to the music with my bro. It really doesn't matter what the lyrics are like, neither does the language of the song play so pivotal a role. Music itself is a universal language already! Well, of course, the justified true belief is that the periodic table and maths are the ecumenical languages. I recall my aunt saying, "If you pointed K (in the periodic table) to an alien, they'd know exactly what to get you" :) Yes, she has rather vivid imagination.

Anyway, back to music! hehe..It's just always comforting to know that there is someone out there that comprehends your predicaments. Someone with empathy, and someone that expresses this understanding in a way so ambiguous for your personal interpretation. In a nutshell, with music, one would never be in solitude.

Oh dear me, I'd better get going! Have to practise for my singing class tomorrow..Don't forget to bring your umbrellas before leaving home! :D I shall attempt to sing *drumrolls* Whitney Houston's Run To You tomorrow, so am keeping my fingers crossed. For those who have never heard the song, enjoy the video attached

Mind Your Language

2008-07-23T00:44:00.003+08:00

Do not be deterred from proceeding just right after you've read ye olde conventional, pap-talk title :) I really am just blogging about an old British comedy-and possibly one of its best

The title of the series is that of this particular post's-Mind Your Language. To just give you a rough indication of how well I rate this series, let's just say, I wouldn't mind paying for the TV licence over at the UK just for shows of this quality. Unfortunately, I doubt any production in this modern epoch would even match the magnificence of this one's.

If my memory does not fail me, I believe this series was aired between 1977 and 1979 over at the UK and sometime in the 80s over at Malaysia. Starring one character from each of the following countries; France, Germany, China, Hungary, Sweden, Spain, Italy, Greece, Japan, India and Pakistan, this show demonstrated the English stereotype towards these foreign immigrants. These common perceptions (and perhaps eventually discovered to be misconceptions) were brilliantly translated into one of England's best comedies in history.

I mean, you have the German interchanging her 'v' and 'w' pronunciations, the French focusing entirely on matters related to love and intimacy, the Chinese with impeccable grammar but just horrendous pronunciation for example,

English Teacher (Mr. Brown): "Su Lee, what do you call a female lion?"
Su Lee (Chinese National): "Rioness"
Brown: "You mean, LIONESS."
Su Lee: *tries enunciating again* "LRRIONESS"
Brown: "Su Lee, say..RIONESS"
Su Lee: "LIONESS"

The Spanish could only say "Por Favore" almost the entire season, and the Greek suffering from over-emphasis on his aspirates. You had acerbic names thrown all the time such as..hmmm..

(i) You INDIAN chapatti
(ii) You ITALIAN spaghetti
(iii) You SPANISH omelette

*sighs* This show kept me ALIVE during my final International Baccalaureate examinations. It's a pity Barry Evans died so tragically..for a comedian, he sure died in a very ironic manner. I'm sure some of us out there still mourn the loss of this established comedian.

Mummy's lame joke of the day

2008-07-20T22:34:00.005+08:00

It all started when my mum brought Malaysia's renowned jackfruit for my bro, and asked whether or not I'd like some.

It goes something like this:

Mum: "Ah lui, would you like some nangka?"
Kor: "But mum, baby does not like jackfruit!"
Mum: "Oh so you don't like jackfruit, you like JILLfruit lar"

Kor and I burst into laughter, while mummy carries on singing "Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water"

This reminds me of an incident over at Tasik Kenyir 3 years back during CNY. The history of it is as such:

The entire family decided to go on a budget trip over to Tasik Kenyir and so my mum cooked some food to be brought over there. Naturally, we would have brought an ICE BOX along in attempt to preserve the food.

After lunch over at Tasik Kenyir, Kor and I were lazing around and lying back on the sofa watching some TV programme when my mum exclaimed,

"Children! Look! This is NOT an ICE BOX! *holds up medium-sized ice box with a SMILEY label* It's a HAPPY BOX!"

My bro and I were speechless for at least a minute before we realised that my mum was trying hard to make a joke.

Mum does make our day at times :D hehe!

I LOVE MY FAMILY..what will I ever do without them :)

Random Thoughts

2008-07-20T15:11:00.012+08:00

The political situation in Malaysia really is saddening. On one hand, Kevin Rudd claims democracy is blooming in Malaysia (boy, that guy certainly does not understand Malaysia well), and on the other, Malaysians think otherwise. People get caught for reasons not known to themselves just under the ISA apparently threatening national security! Tell me then, with their lives at stake, how many would be like RPK-daring enough to stand up for what he believes in?

Seriously, every political agenda in Malaysia is a conspiracy. Minister A has his line of defence, Minister B has his supporters and Minister C, his believers-so, it's all about self-interest and the benefits to a small community. Now, the question is, will corruption ever be eradicated? Oh puh-lease lar..this really is just a rhetorical question-we all know the answer don't we? I mean, how can the ACA be under the PM's department in the first place?

We Malaysians really don't ask for much-all we need is a clean and fair government, ensured social security and a stable economical condition. I personally do not think we Malaysians should throw vituperations at the government for raising the fuel prices. We have been fortunate that fuel prices were previously heavily subsidised. And just because we have been provided with crutches all this while, and we suddenly have been denied of this benefit, we complain. That's human behaviour.

People just don't like change I guess. It's a paradigm shift that we Malaysians must have. A change of lifestyles. Oil prices are not something within our control-so why not just learn to cope with it? It certainly is a drastic change, but ultimately we should give credit to the government for their effort to lighten the burden of the impoverished.

Back to the political situation, here we have our dear former VP propagating from one state to another. And also, we have an interesting sodomy case to follow. Not to mention the recent debate on racism in the Parliament. These events are not going to help us with our current situation. This hunger for power and epic battle between three men are only going to bring Malaysia in one direction-'apoptosis' Hehe..

Winds of change in the recent election isn't too bad really. Well, at least it does tell the federal government that the people aren't too satisfied with certain policies etc that have been implemented. But, from another point of view, it seems to bring about petty arguments in the parliament.

There's a good and bad to everything. As we all know, the opposition won not because they had concrete manifestos (or maybe Anwar and Kit Siang did) but because the people have lost faith in the government. It's sad but true, that no matter what Pak Lah does, no matter how people-oriented it is, it'd never be enough to regain public confidence. I guess Malaysians are too tired of his elegant silence. To them, this deafening silence is no longer an epitome of patience and wisdom, but instead a symbol of incompetency.

I actually have so much more to say really, but..*sighs* we all know freedom of expression in Malaysia is limited. I don't want to be the next RPK plus I still need to preserve this government scholarship supporting my education. In a nutshell, we Malaysians will just have to remain patient and endure this testing period striking us at the moment. I believe that good things come to those who wait. :)

Once again, I apologise for the disordered thoughts. Hehe

I'll be boarding the A330

2008-07-20T14:21:00.003+08:00

Yes yes, I know I'm outdated but I've never boarded an airbus really! So this will be my first time! It's much more comforting to know that it's an airbus since I'm flying alone..Just like the more spacious side seats I guess :D WOOHOO!! *leaps with joy*

Oh yes, the airfare was a whopping 2537! *sighs* I shall now vow to eat economical rice for lunch everyday..ONLY FOR LUNCH

I want to watch The Dark Knight

2008-07-20T13:38:00.002+08:00

Shermie wants to watch The Dark Knight..Silly GSC keeps saying, "Sorry, this movie has been fully booked etc etc" *sighs*

Anyway, she's waiting to watch it with a certain someone..who forced her to give him the link to this blog..So, that certain someone had better book the tickets soon.

Yes, I'm bored stiff. *sighs* *continues reading Princess Masako*

Sherm-o Want-o Go Korea-o..Lame-o

2008-07-20T12:28:00.000+08:00

Yes, the title's lame..but hey, I just got started man, am still learning the techniques of entertaining writing :( *sniff sniff*

Anyway, after 3 consecutive years of applying for the International Youth Camp organised by the South Korean UNESCO, I've finally been selected! Woohoo! Sad, I know..the first time I applied, I was apparently too young *pouts* and the second time I applied..well, I just wasn't qualified enough. Hehe..I tell you, these Koreans discriminate against Malaysian education institutions. You see, the second time I applied, I put MARA College Banting as my college/university. And this time when I applied, that was replaced by the University of Cambridge. What difference does it make? Sometimes, Ivy Leagues and Oxbridge are overrated. I personally think it runs down to the individual to determine how successful he or she wants to be in the near future. Then again, *sighs* public opinion and without a doubt, Malaysian mentality does have bearing on this.

Dear me, I'm rambling again. Yes, so mummy is worried of the 3 additional days I'll be spending over at Korea alone. So is daddy, and so is kor-kor (my bro)..Doesn't really pay to be a girl at times. hehe! Anyway, in this post, I shall share with you guys my tentative itinerary for the additional 3 days after the camp.

I'll most probably pay a visit to Gyeongju, which is down south of Seoul. Reachable by bus or train in 4 hours and 30 minutes. Don't even mention the transportation cost though. It's 30 US dollars just for that torturous journey-ONE WAY. That's another reason for me to tolerate the disastrous working environment over at Honda. Nevertheless, I believe the long journey will be worthwhile.

Next, a brief history of Gyeongju. It's known as the open air museum of South Korea, which basically translates to it being an entire historical town. Apparently, every nick and corner of it has its own history and would have its individual monument. Oh well, that remains to be proven-seeing is believing after all :) If you're interested to read on its detailed history, (which I doubt you'd be) feel free to browse through this link: http://english.visitkorea.or.kr/enu/SI/SI_EN_3_6.jsp?cid=255885

My ENTIRE family refuses to allow me to stay over at a motel which costs 50 US Dollars..and would instead prefer forking a large amount of cash just so that I would get a decent hotel to stay in *sighs*. I have no complaints really besides the fact that I'd have LESS money to SHOP! Those who studied economics would label this as a distinct case of opportunity cost. I mean, the motel doesn't look too bad! Here, have a look!

Does look rather comfortable, doesn't it? But, why leave myself open to security risks kan? I still want to realise my dream of being a successful oncologist afterall. So, my plan now is to actually search online for suitable and reasonably priced hotels just to satisfy the behest of my parents.

My first day over at Gyeongju will be dedicated to visiting places located further away from my temporary residence, just so that I'd have enough time to cover these tourist sites. So, it's Seokguram Gutto and Bulguksa Temple first. Also, I'll probably be dropping by at the recommended Underwater Tomb of King Munmu and will subsequently head off to Gameunsa Temple and Golgusa Temple. Gee, why am I portraying myself as a staunch Buddhist all of a sudden? :P The sights at these places are absolutely SCENIC! That's the impression I got from the pictures at least. Then again, contrary to the popular axiom, pictures actually DO lie, and I've been a victim of this several times. Nevertheless, I shall share with you some of these pictures I managed to find:

Seokguram Gutto is the representative stone temple of Korea, believed to be
built along with Bulguksa Temple

Bulguksa Temple, on the other hand is famous for its three-level pagoda. I
doubt it'd be as magnificent as the tour de france, 'Borobudur' though
This islet found amidst the beautiful, vast sea is as a matter of fact the
Tomb of King Munmu, the calibred King that united the three Korean kingdoms
to establish the renowned Shilla Kingdom of Korea

I just realised that this post is getting too lengthy. I'd better stop right here and shall continue the second day in the next post before I bore you guys to death (or perhaps I already have) *sighs* Sorry, will try to kick away this proclivity of elaborate postings *sniff sniff*

Till the next post people! Hasta Luego!

Tatterdemalion

2008-07-20T11:53:00.000+08:00

Such a degrading title to label my blog with huh? Probably indicates my confidence level of making this blog a success. Yes, so I lack the dedication to frequently update blogs. My previous blog was an absolute failure (possibly because I blocked almost half of the people on my MSN list from viewing it) and I expect this to be no better than the previous one

Hmm..the title of this blog is basically inspired by the way I dress. :D As its literal meaning implies a shabby person, dilapidated etc, I thought it as the perfect word to describe my fashion sense these days. The KMBians would obviously agree to this considering the fact that they have seen me for 2 years dressed up in rubbish and rags seemingly found from dump sites.

Yet if taken figuratively, and on a more personal note, tatterdemalion seems to carry along with it a certain degree of simplicity. And that is what I hope this blog will yield-the sincerest of postings; unadulterated opinions etc. You guys know what I mean

This blog will serve for two purposes then:-
(i) A tirade outlet for mua
(ii) A way for us to keep in touch? (I don't know! That's only if you guys BOTHER reading this
boring page!)

Tatterdemalion

Summer!

Purpose

Tibet [break] Nepal

Impermanence

Hello, Again!

Bon Voyage!

*sighs*

Mareishia Mareishia

Platinum weiii!

Ku Man Hae

Food For Thought

School rules are meant to be broken-only those who break them would survive after all :)

Sediakan Payung Sebelum Hujan LORR

ARGH!

A somewhat..veridical (?) discussion about racism between Faiz sayang and me.

Beijing Welcomes You

*sniff sniff* I'm touched! Raja welcomed me to the blogsphere, on his blog! Another great honour :D

Of Monty Hall and Politics

Oh my gosh, I think Shiang Jin just read my blog

Bah

43rd International Youth Camp, Korea National Commission for UNESCO-Part 1

IKETERU!

*I stink at naming posts*

Agenda

I Look To You

(Intentionally Left Untitled)

Another Random Post

Just Artistic

Mind Your Language

Mummy's lame joke of the day

Random Thoughts

I'll be boarding the A330

I want to watch The Dark Knight

Sherm-o Want-o Go Korea-o..Lame-o

Tatterdemalion

sighs

sniff sniff I'm touched! Raja welcomed me to the blogsphere, on his blog! Another great honour :D

I stink at naming posts