Another Random Post

I seem to have difficulties giving titles to my posts. So, oh well, let's just stick to the word 'random'. I just returned home from my medical check-up and also a short survey of lamps for my newly-renovated, humble abode and man am I exhausted! Not only was the medical check-up colossal monetary wise. It caused great agony and unnecessary stress just waiting for two painful injections-one for the basic blood test and the other for my Mantoux test *nods vigorously* Yes I have injection phobia. I think they call it tryanophobia. Am just anticipating microscission to save me from all this trouble.

To be honest, I have begun to adapt to this through gradual exposure. I guess when one has set their expectations to be as such, he or she is psychologically-armed for it. So..GOODBYE TRYANOPHOBIA! Buah kakakaka!

Well, this post was not meant to be dedicated to encountering needles and the fear of it. It's objective is for me to opine on things I have seen and experienced. First in line, my working experience at HONDA.

I've worked there for a bit more than a month now and sad to say, I've actually adapted to their inefficiency and lackluster attitude towards work. To clarify on things, when I say I've adapted, I don't mean part of me has assimilated to these characteristics. What I really mean is that I've learnt to be more tolerant towards different people. I've had Bryan, who graduated in psychology from the University of Nottingham, sharing with me his working experience after having returned from the UK, venting on how different Malaysians were in social interactions and working ethics. I recall him warning me that the start of it would be a complete..hmm..vicissitude as compared to what I would have experienced over in the UK and that I'd feel suffocated. I could see he was speaking based on experience-and this one-month stint at Honda has convinced me that I'm yet to be prepared for such differences.

I used to think that I'd easily maneuver thru these differences and accept people for the way they are. After all, it is a diverse society. But I was wrong. Terribly mistaken as a matter of fact. I realised I wanted them to do things the way I did mine. And I realised in this self-centered world, one gets rewarded for a good job done, with more work and less gratitude. These people exploit laborious characters. In a way, I feel as if I've added no value to HONDA and worse, I feel as if I am to blame for the despicable work attitude of a few people.

Of course I have Chong Han who has worked there for 6 months telling me to be more streetwise. Thinking back, I was silly not to heed his advice. Nevertheless, I still managed to carve a forced smile on my face. You see, I believe that you shouldn't allow others' behaviour to influence how you feel, instead, you should influence their behaviour with how you react to things. Since I can't change the way they work and their morale, I could just stick to being who I am, apparently the ever-smiling-one, and hopefully influence them to be more motivated.

I guess I was wrong to rant and rave about not learning anything. To put things in perspective, no, I didn't gain any academic information. What I did gain however is a better panorama of human behaviour, and possibly patience :P I survived by Bryan's advice to focus on the similarities instead of the differences between people-more specifically those in Honda. It is a brutal fact that we humans, in general, can only practise the theory of self-interest, successfully I mean. We bother too much about the tangible things in life that we forget about the soft-sides, the aspects that truly matter. We're too engaged in the fast track rat-race in life that we've abdicated the values of humanity. Sad but true.

Would saying that indirectly imply nirvana is unattainable? ( I say this because Nirvana means freedom from all worries, troubles, complexes, fabrications and ideas) If we carried on living like this, well perhaps. But one of the four noble truths mentioned that nirvana is indeed achievable. Through nirodha-the unmaking of sensual cravings and conceptual attachments (I think!) is nirvana a feasible goal in life. I'm a terrible Buddhist to be honest. I do not understand these concepts, and even if I did, I have no confidence in being able to practise its believes. I cling on too tightly to transient things in life. I, sadly fail to grasp and implement the concept, 'matter is void, void is matter'.

I dare say that I have understood that life means suffering, and perhaps am beginning to comprehend the causes of suffering. But I'm still light years away from understanding the cessation of suffering and the path leading to it.

At present, I'm just a student who craves for ACADEMIC SUCCESS-which is impermanent. So, technically, I'm not practising the teachings of Buddhism. And I don't think I will be in the next 4 decades.

More to come on my reflection of life...after dinner *stomach growls* Itadakimas!